Last week I was out having dinner and drinks with some casual friends at a social get-together. These were people I had met several times before, but I really only know them socially and not as particularly close friends. One of them (I'll call him Eric. to protect his privacy) was a Disney fan so we were chatting about things happening currently in the parks, about the whole New Fantasyland expansion and such. At some point the discussion turned to potential changes coming with the Guest Assistance Card (GAC) due to rampant abuse. This is a topic that directly effects me because of Ben, and so I am particularly keen to know what kind of new restrictions or guidelines might be coming and how they might impact our family. It was at this point that Eric said something that stopped me cold.

"Well you know," he admonished, "your family is a big part of the problem."

How could I possibly be part of the problem? The GAC exists specifically for kids like my son...

In all fairness, Eric was very careful in how he worded his argument. He took great pains to try not to offend me, but he pointed out that Disney found the vast majority of GAC users in the Fastpass lines were Florida residents with annual passes. Presumably these are people who visit the parks several times per year, and who have experienced these attractions before, and they are gumming up the regular lines filled with park guests who have traveled long distances and only have a limited time to see everything.

Honestly, my initial reaction (at least in my head) was something along the lines of "I'll trade you - you make my son able to function independently, and I'll let you use the Fastpass lines as often as you like!"

But then I took a deep breath and began to ponder if I wasn't being more than a little bit entitled. As it turns out, Eric has a valid point. In the early years while we were at Disney, the GAC was a necessary thing in order to help keep Ben from becoming overwhelmed. Honestly, keeping him out of the regular lines was as much for the benefit of everyone around us as it was for Ben. When he got upset, he had a very bad habit of just lashing out at anyone within reach. There were several occasions where out of the blue he just hauled off and kicked some random passing stranger (sometimes a child) without provocation, just because he was frustrated about something else. Keeping him contained in the alternate entrance lines allowed us to keep him under better control and also allowed us an easier egress if he became violent.

That was years ago, though. What about now? Well, after ten years of visiting Walt Disney World multiple times per month, Ben has become much more well behaved in public. He still gets frustrated occasionally, but thankfully he very rarely gets physical anymore. He might shout out a very embarrassing curse word, but he is unlikely to kick a stranger anymore. He is also much, much more patient.

Over the next few days I thought more about it. Have we been using the GAC just as a handy way to get on rides faster, using Ben's autism as an excuse? Does using the GAC really benefit and accommodate Ben, or do we just like the shorter lines? Most importantly, what is the functional purpose of bringing Ben to the parks these days beyond just simple entertainment? Way back when, we moved here to Orlando specifically to use the parks a kind of giant therapy session. The idea was to use Snow White's Scary Adventures as a carrot to dangle in front of him, and then teach him how to function properly in a noisy and chaotic environment; how to take turns and wait patiently; how to use his spoken words to ask nicely for things he wants, instead of throwing fits. So, shouldn't it also be a proper goal to have him stand in the regular lines with everyone else and wait his turn?

So yeah, over the course of a few days I gradually evolved from "Hey, you jerk, we're not the problem!!" to "Huh... I think we might be part of the problem..."

As it turns out, last Saturday I was at the Magic Kingdom with Ben. He was in a particularly good mood, having just spent a few hours swimming at Typhoon Lagoon (in January!), and I figured it would be an opportune time to see how he would do standing in a normal line for a popular attraction. He had taken me over to the new Little Mermaid ride, and he actually let me straight to the Fastpass entrance that we have always used before. I saw that the posted wait time was 90 minutes, and for a moment my resolve wavered.  Ninety minutes in line? Seriously?!? Why the heck would I want to do that? Well, how about because that's how long everybody else has to wait.

I took Ben over to the end of the regular line and told  him we had to wait our turn, halfway expecting him to object. Instead he just kind of shrugged, and got in line. We spent the next hour and a half following the regular twists and turns of the line. For his part, Ben spent the time listening to music on his iPod and also taking pictures of other kids in line. He never got impatient, he never got upset. He just stood in line and waited for his turn. It was actually the first time I had seen the regular line for that ride, and there are some pretty cool interactive bits once you get inside the structure itself. In the end I just had a great time hanging out with Ben and watching how he interacted with the people around him. Eventually we got to the loading area, and the ride itself was just as awesome as it always is (seriously, LOVE the new Little Mermaid ride, cool beans!).

My takeaway from the experience was that, yes, Ben can perfectly handle standing in lines. He does not have a physical disability, and although he has some very serious emotional and sensory integration issues, at nineteen years old his behavioral issues are largely in check. So are we part of the problem? Yeah, maybe. I am not quite ready to give up on the GAC entirely, but I have made it a specific goal in 2013 to use it as rarely as possible. It's time to teach Ben how to go get a Fastpass and then come back at the assigned time. It's a more complex skill, but something very useful because it is multi-step and involves patience and timing.

So hey Eric, if you are reading this I hope you are flattered that I used  Prince Eric as your nom de plume. More importantly, thank you for taking me to task and holding me accountable (in a very polite and kind way). You were right. I was wrong. Just don't tell my wife, she'll never believe I actually said those words....